So, something you may not know about me is that I LOVE reading bad reviews. Restaurant, store, business, parks, towns, I love them all. This winter I realized that you could review the national parks. Why I never thought you could before, I don’t know. Well, I started reading the bad reviews and some of them had me cracking up. I promptly forgot about this and didn’t think of it again until recently.
That’s when I decided to look for some of the best bad national park reviews I could find. I didn’t check every park for this, mostly because I’d love to do another one of these eventually.
I’ve learned a few things on this quest so far.
- Some people don’t know how words work.
- A lot of people have never even visited the places they’re reviewing.
- A lot of people think they’re beautiful but still give them one star.
- A lot of people think the parks should all be free.
- Dogs should be able to go anywhere they want in every park. (Other people think this, I think this less than them)
And I’ve left with a few questions.
- How do you even become a qualified local guide? Are they even?
- WHY DO YOU REVIEW IT IF YOU HAVEN’T BEEN?
- How many of these are even real?
- Does anyone do ANY research before going to parks?
Some of these local guides are terrible. I won’t lie. And I’d say most of the fake ones are pretty obvious, but there are a few that almost seem so weird, they could be true. Not all of them are hilarious. Some are just more ridiculous, like, how do people think this would work? On that note, let’s go!
Grand Canyon
These people are not impressed.
Zion
I mean, most national parks don’t have much to do other than hike.
Everglades
They must have forgotten to let the gators loose those days!
Glacier
What national park can you let your dogs run free? I mean, what about bears? (I’ve never had a dog, much less in bear country, so I have no idea how big of an issue that would actually be.)
Badlands
Talk about a mixed bag!
Bryce Canyon
Great park. I hate the outdoors.
Petrified Forest
I have to say, these are by far my favorites. I’ll let you know what I think in a few weeks.
Yellowstone
Not pictured:
- No yellow stones! (even more than this one)
- Didn’t go boom boom (yes, people said that. Yes, more than one.)
- Didn’t explode! Not worth it!
Death Valley
Smelled like cheese and wax cakes. I am dead.
Yosemite
Maybe they should call this one Death Valley?
Well, that’s all for this round! Which one is your favorite? Which bad reviews would you like to see in the future?
These are pretty amazing.
I mean, I sort of love the complaint that Yellowstone didn’t have yellow stones. But what were people expecting to do in national parks (other than hike!?)
Also, it sounds like some US national parks are very expensive! That makes me sad that some Americans may not be able to experience them. I mean $75-$100 is a hefty price tag if you’re on minimum wages…
LOL, there are no entry fees that high.Yes it might be $35 for Grand Teton and $35 for for Yellowstone because those are two separate parks with their own employees and maintenance needs and infrastructure. And that’s per carload. If you are a family of 4, that’s not even $10 pp. I usually purchase an America the Beautiful pass for $80 each year and that pays for entry to most parks for my family and gives discounts on other items. The park service also provides an annual pass to all 4th graders (so essentially their families are free that whole year) and has quite a few fee-free days throughout the year for everyone. 🙂
Lol in that case, I guess loooads of those reviewers didn’t really go!? That’s even more sad. I hope no-one gets put off my those reviews!
p.s. I had a look at the yelp reviews for Canadian national parks and they were really positive! Lol Canadians seem to be sweet, even online!
Ha ha, you’re probably right…there are actually some in this post that gave a place one star with the comment, ‘never been there’ So crazy, why take the time to trash a place you know nothing about? Yes, I’d imagine Canadian reviews are nicer than the American counterparts.
The pass is the best! I’ve gotten one the last three years and will need a new one in a few weeks. I will never not get one now!
I never even thought about yellow stones in yellowstone, but I mean, I guess? haha. Most (or all?) parks are under $35, some are free. I think the 75 for Yellowstone is if you go to the Tetons, too. I think if you come from the south to Yellowstone, you have to go through both, which I would just recommend anyways. I’m not sure why one guy spent $100 though?
Great post..this made me laugh to read these absurd “reviews”.
I love them!
The best part of these reviewa is the clueless people who will stay away an allow people who appreciate the parks to enjoy.
Agreed!
Hahaha, totally made my day 😀 Sometimes I really don’t understand people’s motivation to write such trash “reviews”.
Right!? It’s like the ones on Amazon that are like “Haven’t used it yet” one star.
😀 exactly!
many of these people deserve to be ripped off by the likes of disneyland, and let them.
some of them do look like they are just bored and trolling, equally annoying, of course.
Definitely some trolls on there. Some were tough to tell if they were legit. But the ones that were, well, thye definitely need to remember where they are.
Hahahaha!!! I love stuff like this! The Yosemite ones are blatantly all trolls. That last Grand Canyon one really made me laugh, too! I’ve read some crazy reviews of places in Scotland, like someone complaining that there’s no cafes or facilities at the top of Ben Nevis! The biggest mountain in the UK! Or about standing stones, “they’re just stones” (yeah, stones 3 times taller than you that people put in a circle 5000 years ago?). I will never understand hahaha.
Hahah I love it! Bad reviews are so fun to read.